Good-bye to a Beautiful Lady

As many of you already know, my mum, Marion Alice Wilkes passed away on Thursday September 24 2009. She was peacefully surrounded by family and friends, including her first born grandson. Alexander wanted to stay the night with her and after much agonizing debate for Eric and I, we allowed him to stay, while we went home to tuck the younger kids into bed and wait for a sitter. I am told that Alexander held his gramma's hand and laid his head on her pillow beside hers and stayed that way until she passed away. We are so proud of him. He calmed her right now, and loved her right to the end. She left our world just after midnight, 12:15 am

(****wipe tears now if you need too***)

On Wednesday Sept 23 we were all out at Lisaard house, talking, sitting, eating, enjoying mum's company. She was still able to talk to us some what and completely understand what we were saying. She tried so hard to tell us something all day and we just weren't able to figure it out, until my sister Elizabeth asked her "mum do you want me to get Madison a present?" to which mum YELLED "AND A CARD!" Clear as a bell! That was pretty much the last time she tried to communicate with us.

All the kids got to go in and spend time with Gramma. They took turns, went in together, all in their own time and comfort.

Lisaard House is absolutely amazing! The staff, volunteers and caregivers are just wonderful. They make it some comfortable and home like.

After Mum had passed they did their own ceremony that is done after everyone passes away, with candles and a special quilt as mum was taken back out the front door. All residents enter in the front door and leave through the front door. It is something I will never forget.

Mum had planned everything for her memorial and burial, that we only need to post it in the paper the day and time. It was the most amazing memorial I have ever been too. The music she chose was beautiful and upbeat, all her favourites! She had the church choir sing the anthems that she picked. Her Ch'kl'ts group came and sang beautifully on there own and then in mass choir with the church choir!

Her favourite colour was green, so we all tried to wear green for the service so it wasn't all blacks and sad clothes.

I wrote something for our minister to read. It took me awhile to get it down on paper, but I did. Please excuse the rambling parts of it.

Daughter

Wife

Mum

Gramma

Sister

Cousin

Friend

confidant

Knitter

Singer

These are all words that describe one incredible person! Marion

These were not just titles for her they were her life her passion. She was always there for everyone no matter what was needed. I don't believe I ever heard mum say “NO” unless it really conflicted with something else she was doing and even then she would try to work around it. She was always busy.

From the time we were little we knew that mum would always be there for us. I shoulder to cry on, a knee to cuddle on, someone we could joke with. She volunteered at our school as lunch lady, library helper and secretary. She made sure that we experienced everything we could, from dance and gymnastics, to the church and choirs. Mum made sure she came to everything we were involved in. She would come to choral concerts, plays, gymnastics presentations, broom-ball, band concerts etc. We would just have to turn and look out into the crowd and there she was.

In the evenings after dinner was done and cleaned up, we would watch some Tv before bedtime. While the TV was on, mum would sit there and knit. We were the warmest kids every winter. Between her and gramma we had sweaters in various colours and patterns, scarves, mittens and hats. This was a passion mum had until she could no longer do it. The last 5 years she has been busily making preemie bonnets and sweaters for Grand River Hospital's Neonatal intensive Care Unit. After Bekah had her stay there mum saw a need for all babies to go home with something made with love just for them.

Mum was an amazing Gramma! Right from the start she told us and Sonia, that she was going to be Gramma! This suited Sonia just fine as she was going to be Nana! She once told me that the best thing in life was to watch the birth of her grandchild. Mum was able to be with Eric and I in the delivery room for Alexander and Quinlan's births and was pacing the halls for Madison and Bekah's.

She doted on Alexander, Madison, Quinlan and Rebekah from the minute they were born. She saw them almost everyday. She was so proud of them.

This year when they finished school, she hounded me for their report cards. She read them all and told them all what a good job they did.

Mum also had a “wild” side! Especially when she was younger! Just ask Uncle Ron about the cups that she threw at him when he was taking too long drying the dishes, or the time she broke a record over his head. She told us that she doesn't remember what he did to upset her, but she remembers that the record was “cruising down the river on a Sunday afternoon!” Thankfully we never fully saw that side of her, but I believe Megan and I never took too long washing and drying the dishes before we finally got a dishwasher! Lateley the wild side came out when she was singing with the chick'lets! A group that she loved singing with.

Trying to keep a secret from mum was no easy task. We tried really hard to plan a surprise party for her 65^th birthday. She kept saying to me well if you aren't doing anything can we just have a bbq in the summer and invite everyone! Elizabeth had to finally tell her that we had something planned. When she called to tell me that she knew, I was not surprised! I also asked her how she could possibly think that we wouldn't do something special for her! Her answer was “Well you didn't tell me you were planning it!” I guess she forgot what the meaning of the word SURPRISE! :) Mum could always tell when I was up to something, I am guessing that I was actually able to pull a fast one on her!

It was a nice party filled with family and friends, there was good food, good laughs and good music!

When mum was diagnosed with cancer it was a hard pill to swallow. Mum true to her form told us flat out that it was not going to get her. She was going to fight it tooth and nail. She was so strong! She did everything she was told would help. She came home, got things organized as to how things were going to be. She had to learned new ways of doing things. Some were easy and others were well...lets just say she tried to accept help gracefully.

When the pain started in her right leg we saw mum's independence slip away. She fought so hard! She was not going to let it keep her down. In the end when she could no longer walk we had to admit her back to the hospital. It was not where she wanted to be but with grace she accepted that it was where she could get the help she needed.

Mum kept us all going. Her strength and love helped us all cope with what life had given us. We were able to stay strong for her because of her strength. She greeted us with a smile and would tell us how her day was going and the happenings of the floor she was on. Most eveings she said it was like Dinner and a show with some of the other patients on her floor that could wander the halls.

She met an amazing woman with whom she made a new friendship. Jean and her were roommates for 4-5 months. They were each others confidant, and friend, advocating for each other as it was needed. The day that they were both up in wheelchairs and were able to shake hands for the first time was amazing! They shared such a bond.

We are so thankful that Jean came into mum's life and shared her life with her. Mum was so grateful for her company and friendship.

Mum,

I love you so very much and miss you terribly.

Thank-you for being the best mum! We have learned so much from you, by LOVE and Example. You have given us the strength to carry on. Our rock maybe gone from our vision but you are forever in our hearts and minds. I see you every single day in my children's faces and their voices. They take comfort in knowing that you are with Great Gramma watching them from above keeping them safe.

Gramma I Love you! You were the best Gramma in the world! I had fun going shopping with you before I started kindergarten. Love your Bekah boo

Gramma I love you very much. Thank-you for letting me fish for frogs in your fish pond and for making me yummy foods. Love Quinlan

Gramma you were the best I don`t know how to say it but you were the best I loved and love you still very much. Thanks for letting me sleepover at your house it was lots of fun. I loved being with you and spending time with you too! I am so happy that your not in pain anymore. I remember you always and all the good times we had. I love you so very much Love Madison

Gramma,

Thanks for the support, love and care you gave me right up until the end. The impact you had on my life was so big, you helped me through so much and supported me in everything I did and I want to thank you for that. The sleep overs I had at your house when you'd buy us our favourite chips (ketchup) were so much fun and some of my greatest memories. I miss you alot and am happy you are in no more pain. Good job on keeping your hair! Love you so much Gramma, your are the best Gramma in the world! With LOTS of love, Xander.

Thank You everyone for your love and support over the last 9 months, especially the last couple of months when it was really needed. It is really comforting to know that we have so much love and support surrounding us.

Now that things in my life have started to settled down a bit ( I am still working 6 days a week) I will be able to blog a bit more and post pictures. Actually get my camera out and take pictures, get the creative juices flowing again

One last thought.... Love like its your last day on earth, because you never know when it will be. Tell the person you love every day that you love them, leave no regrets, no should haves, no pain or misery, in the end its the love that will pull you through and keep you going.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RLFfiBghio - The song a friend sent me from Australia, it was so fitting, that I used it on a slideshow for my mum. Which can be viewed at http://gallery.me.com/alexison Login name : family Password : Lightfoot