Christmas 2009

Christmas this year was very hard on us, as it was the first one without Mum.  He absence was felt fully throughout the festivities, but she was never far from our thoughts.  Eric and I kept things are "normal" as possible for the kids. Bekah, Madison and I went to Church. Madison and I were singing in the choir at the "chaos" service (family service).  I started helping out this year with the Jr. Youth Choir and love every minute of it.  I sent the girls home to Eric while I stayed and helped the adult choir in the alto section for the 8 pm service.  We I got home, we gave the kids their Christmas Eve Jammies, put cookies and milk out for Santa and tucked them in for the night. 

Bekah and I ready to go to church

Once the kids were all tucked in and finally asleep, Eric and I went to town on the gift wrapping.  We have always stayed up late on Christmas Eve to wrap.  I think we finally cleaned up and went to bed just after 3 am.  This is how the living room looked before the kids woke up.

At 7 am sharp I was awoken by the sound of Liz, Megan and Dad in the house. The kids had started to stir but hadn't woken Eric and I up yet.  4 hours of sleep was barely enough but it was time to start the day.

This picture is of Liz opening her 70th Anniversary special editon The Wizard of Oz collectors editon.

Dad was here taking full part, watching the kids open their gifts and taking pictures.  It turned out to be really great morning.  There were some tears with certain gifts, but we made it through.

We decided this year that we were not going to be taking the kids and running all over with them.  Everyone who wanted to see us was welcome to come to our house. The kids stayed in their new jammies all day, and played with their new toys.  Eric and I cooked the turkey for the first time at our house :) It turned out wonderfully.  We had a few mishaps with the gravy but all was saved and a great feast was had.

Last year mum ordered a crisco christmas hamper, and in one of the packages she bought was a package of Turtles Chocolates (her favourite) Liz brought them over and after dinner we all toasted mum with a turtle in hand!  A very fitting end to dinner!

The rest of the holidays will be spent spending time with Family and friends.

Since Hallowe'en

On Saturday Nov 7, Eric and I were able to steal away to Niagara Falls for a night just the two of us. It was the first time in over 8 years that we had gone somewhere overnight just us. Alexander and his friend Ethan were here with Bekah and Quinn and Madison was at a friends house. It worked out perfectly. Our Room was upgraded to a "Riverview" room. The first pictures is what we saw out our window. It isn't the greatest of shots as lighting was low and it was out the window. It was the opening ceremonies for the festival of lights that night. As we were walking in the beautiful warm weather, we got to see fireworks. We had a nice Quiet dinner together and a quiet evening. Sunday morning we woke up to a beautiful sunrise over the falls. It was 6 am and I was up taking pictures. I really should have brought my tripod! We had a great time away it is definitely something we will try to do more often. Its much easier now that the children are older.

On Friday November 20 my Dad's cousin Anne and her husband Doug came for a visit from England. They had been on vacation visiting their eldest son Joe in Indianapolis where he goes to University. They took a short break from him and came to Ontario to visit family here.

Dad picked them up at union station Friday evening. We went out for dinner and had a visit back at our house before they retired to their hotel. Saturday we had a great morning visit and went out for brunch. It was such a beautiful weekend weather wise that we decided to go and walk around the town of St. Jacobs. It was so nice to be in the shops this time of year. Everything was decorated for christmas.

Eric snapped a few pictures of us as we came out of one of the shops.

The kids loved having family visit from so far away. Anne and the girls had an instant connection. The last time they were in Canada was in 2000, before Quinn and Bekah were born.

Saturday evening we did a BBQ and had burgers, hotdogs, Salad, Beer, wine, pumpkin and lemon pies. Then it was off to the livingroom to do some bealtes rockbanding :) Anne and Doug were amazing :) We laughed and played until after 11pm.

Our visit was short, but it was a good one and the kids won't forget their family in England.

Here are some of the photos taken that weekend.

On Friday December 4th a new little critter was welcomed into our home. His name (for now) is Skylar. He is a 12 week old Tabby with lots of heart. This little guy stole my heart from the first time I saw him. I can normally look at kittens and puppies and walk away no harm done, but this little guy didn't let me off that easy. No one wanted him, he was too "frisky". After much deliberation and visits to see him, he finally came home with us. He is the coolest little guy. He plays very well with the kids, never bites or scratches. In fact we have rarely seen his claws except for when he is trying to jump on something and misses! He is fully litter box trained already and learned just yesterday how to use the scratching post.

The dogs and Max (the other cat) are doing great with him as well. There was a bit of hissing Friday into Saturday but Max established that he is big brother and all is well now. The pictures are from his first night with us.

I should mention that he has one of the loudest purrs I have ever heard!!!

Now I am gearing up to Alexander's birthday this Saturday. He turns 15! Time has sure flown past us! He is almost taller then me, his feet are huge, and his voice is deep. He is no longer my wee boy with the chubby cheeks, he is growing into a fine young man.

Now we will start gearing up for the christmas season. As you all know it will be a difficult one for us this year without mum, but we know she will be here in spirit.

Hallowe'en

This year was great for Hallowe'en costumes...the three younger kids decided to all be the same thing! It was awesome :) Here are some shots from our night out on the streets trick or treating for candy!

Good-bye to a Beautiful Lady

As many of you already know, my mum, Marion Alice Wilkes passed away on Thursday September 24 2009. She was peacefully surrounded by family and friends, including her first born grandson. Alexander wanted to stay the night with her and after much agonizing debate for Eric and I, we allowed him to stay, while we went home to tuck the younger kids into bed and wait for a sitter. I am told that Alexander held his gramma's hand and laid his head on her pillow beside hers and stayed that way until she passed away. We are so proud of him. He calmed her right now, and loved her right to the end. She left our world just after midnight, 12:15 am

(****wipe tears now if you need too***)

On Wednesday Sept 23 we were all out at Lisaard house, talking, sitting, eating, enjoying mum's company. She was still able to talk to us some what and completely understand what we were saying. She tried so hard to tell us something all day and we just weren't able to figure it out, until my sister Elizabeth asked her "mum do you want me to get Madison a present?" to which mum YELLED "AND A CARD!" Clear as a bell! That was pretty much the last time she tried to communicate with us.

All the kids got to go in and spend time with Gramma. They took turns, went in together, all in their own time and comfort.

Lisaard House is absolutely amazing! The staff, volunteers and caregivers are just wonderful. They make it some comfortable and home like.

After Mum had passed they did their own ceremony that is done after everyone passes away, with candles and a special quilt as mum was taken back out the front door. All residents enter in the front door and leave through the front door. It is something I will never forget.

Mum had planned everything for her memorial and burial, that we only need to post it in the paper the day and time. It was the most amazing memorial I have ever been too. The music she chose was beautiful and upbeat, all her favourites! She had the church choir sing the anthems that she picked. Her Ch'kl'ts group came and sang beautifully on there own and then in mass choir with the church choir!

Her favourite colour was green, so we all tried to wear green for the service so it wasn't all blacks and sad clothes.

I wrote something for our minister to read. It took me awhile to get it down on paper, but I did. Please excuse the rambling parts of it.

Daughter

Wife

Mum

Gramma

Sister

Cousin

Friend

confidant

Knitter

Singer

These are all words that describe one incredible person! Marion

These were not just titles for her they were her life her passion. She was always there for everyone no matter what was needed. I don't believe I ever heard mum say “NO” unless it really conflicted with something else she was doing and even then she would try to work around it. She was always busy.

From the time we were little we knew that mum would always be there for us. I shoulder to cry on, a knee to cuddle on, someone we could joke with. She volunteered at our school as lunch lady, library helper and secretary. She made sure that we experienced everything we could, from dance and gymnastics, to the church and choirs. Mum made sure she came to everything we were involved in. She would come to choral concerts, plays, gymnastics presentations, broom-ball, band concerts etc. We would just have to turn and look out into the crowd and there she was.

In the evenings after dinner was done and cleaned up, we would watch some Tv before bedtime. While the TV was on, mum would sit there and knit. We were the warmest kids every winter. Between her and gramma we had sweaters in various colours and patterns, scarves, mittens and hats. This was a passion mum had until she could no longer do it. The last 5 years she has been busily making preemie bonnets and sweaters for Grand River Hospital's Neonatal intensive Care Unit. After Bekah had her stay there mum saw a need for all babies to go home with something made with love just for them.

Mum was an amazing Gramma! Right from the start she told us and Sonia, that she was going to be Gramma! This suited Sonia just fine as she was going to be Nana! She once told me that the best thing in life was to watch the birth of her grandchild. Mum was able to be with Eric and I in the delivery room for Alexander and Quinlan's births and was pacing the halls for Madison and Bekah's.

She doted on Alexander, Madison, Quinlan and Rebekah from the minute they were born. She saw them almost everyday. She was so proud of them.

This year when they finished school, she hounded me for their report cards. She read them all and told them all what a good job they did.

Mum also had a “wild” side! Especially when she was younger! Just ask Uncle Ron about the cups that she threw at him when he was taking too long drying the dishes, or the time she broke a record over his head. She told us that she doesn't remember what he did to upset her, but she remembers that the record was “cruising down the river on a Sunday afternoon!” Thankfully we never fully saw that side of her, but I believe Megan and I never took too long washing and drying the dishes before we finally got a dishwasher! Lateley the wild side came out when she was singing with the chick'lets! A group that she loved singing with.

Trying to keep a secret from mum was no easy task. We tried really hard to plan a surprise party for her 65^th birthday. She kept saying to me well if you aren't doing anything can we just have a bbq in the summer and invite everyone! Elizabeth had to finally tell her that we had something planned. When she called to tell me that she knew, I was not surprised! I also asked her how she could possibly think that we wouldn't do something special for her! Her answer was “Well you didn't tell me you were planning it!” I guess she forgot what the meaning of the word SURPRISE! :) Mum could always tell when I was up to something, I am guessing that I was actually able to pull a fast one on her!

It was a nice party filled with family and friends, there was good food, good laughs and good music!

When mum was diagnosed with cancer it was a hard pill to swallow. Mum true to her form told us flat out that it was not going to get her. She was going to fight it tooth and nail. She was so strong! She did everything she was told would help. She came home, got things organized as to how things were going to be. She had to learned new ways of doing things. Some were easy and others were well...lets just say she tried to accept help gracefully.

When the pain started in her right leg we saw mum's independence slip away. She fought so hard! She was not going to let it keep her down. In the end when she could no longer walk we had to admit her back to the hospital. It was not where she wanted to be but with grace she accepted that it was where she could get the help she needed.

Mum kept us all going. Her strength and love helped us all cope with what life had given us. We were able to stay strong for her because of her strength. She greeted us with a smile and would tell us how her day was going and the happenings of the floor she was on. Most eveings she said it was like Dinner and a show with some of the other patients on her floor that could wander the halls.

She met an amazing woman with whom she made a new friendship. Jean and her were roommates for 4-5 months. They were each others confidant, and friend, advocating for each other as it was needed. The day that they were both up in wheelchairs and were able to shake hands for the first time was amazing! They shared such a bond.

We are so thankful that Jean came into mum's life and shared her life with her. Mum was so grateful for her company and friendship.

Mum,

I love you so very much and miss you terribly.

Thank-you for being the best mum! We have learned so much from you, by LOVE and Example. You have given us the strength to carry on. Our rock maybe gone from our vision but you are forever in our hearts and minds. I see you every single day in my children's faces and their voices. They take comfort in knowing that you are with Great Gramma watching them from above keeping them safe.

Gramma I Love you! You were the best Gramma in the world! I had fun going shopping with you before I started kindergarten. Love your Bekah boo

Gramma I love you very much. Thank-you for letting me fish for frogs in your fish pond and for making me yummy foods. Love Quinlan

Gramma you were the best I don`t know how to say it but you were the best I loved and love you still very much. Thanks for letting me sleepover at your house it was lots of fun. I loved being with you and spending time with you too! I am so happy that your not in pain anymore. I remember you always and all the good times we had. I love you so very much Love Madison

Gramma,

Thanks for the support, love and care you gave me right up until the end. The impact you had on my life was so big, you helped me through so much and supported me in everything I did and I want to thank you for that. The sleep overs I had at your house when you'd buy us our favourite chips (ketchup) were so much fun and some of my greatest memories. I miss you alot and am happy you are in no more pain. Good job on keeping your hair! Love you so much Gramma, your are the best Gramma in the world! With LOTS of love, Xander.

Thank You everyone for your love and support over the last 9 months, especially the last couple of months when it was really needed. It is really comforting to know that we have so much love and support surrounding us.

Now that things in my life have started to settled down a bit ( I am still working 6 days a week) I will be able to blog a bit more and post pictures. Actually get my camera out and take pictures, get the creative juices flowing again

One last thought.... Love like its your last day on earth, because you never know when it will be. Tell the person you love every day that you love them, leave no regrets, no should haves, no pain or misery, in the end its the love that will pull you through and keep you going.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RLFfiBghio - The song a friend sent me from Australia, it was so fitting, that I used it on a slideshow for my mum. Which can be viewed at http://gallery.me.com/alexison Login name : family Password : Lightfoot

As of Friday September 18th, Mum's new "home" is the Lisaard House in Cambridge Ontario!

She is very comfortable and took the move well.

She is in a very weakened state and we are asking that only one visitor at a time please.

We all LOVE seeing her good friends and know everyone cares, but our goal is mum's comfort.

Thank you to everyone for their support and prayers as we all go through this difficult time in our lives. We couldn't have made it this far without you all.

Please call if you have any questions

sorry!

Sorry for the blog not getting its daily or weekly updates, life here has been a busy busy time.

I will try to do a post this weekend with pictures updated!

Just an update

I thought that since its been a week or so since I posted, that I should do an update.

Things here have been a bit crazy.  Eric has been on holidays for 2 weeks and to be honest we just didn't do anything around the house.  The stress we have all be living under lately has been huge, so relaxing was the name of the game.  

My holidays were this past week.  We took the kids, to the zoo with Liz.  A new friend came along with his children as well and we had a great time.  The weather was perfect for the zoo and we did get to see many of the animals outside.

The best part was to touch the stingrays.  The kids LOVED it.  I will post photos when I get them edited and posted!

Wednesday, we took the kids to my good friend Shannon's house for a swim and a visit.  Again the kids showed us how well they behave and a good time was had by all.  Quinn has a really great time with Emma.

The rest of the week was just normal and boring...lol lazy days.

For those who read this and aren't fully up to date on mum here is some new things happening in her life...

... Mum is no longer receiving treatment for her cancer.  She is in bed now, with no use of her legs.  She is in good spirits and still a very  big part of our family.  Her name is on the list to go to Lisaard House (an amazing place) http://lisaard.ethinkdesign.com  This will be a great place for us to visit better and mum to get outside, see her dog, garden etc.   

I will post photos later today I think, please come back and look and feel free to leave any comments as well :)